Whhhat?

So in August of this year my girl so to be fiancee left me for some dude and then in September my father died suddenly from cancer. Oh, by the way hello Ava. 
Anyways, I got a better ring and started to work on my insurance license cause my father left us with nothing. Took, the good from the bad right?
So my question to you is, should I feel as if I got an ace up my sleeve with a nice ring and broken heart?
Man, all I use to do is dream of being married. Now at age 36, I still look 20 something. I only attract females in their 20s. I just hope I can have a partner in all area of my life. 
So, should I just do it like Nike, cause you only live once? Tell me how I should turn it all the way up? Inspire me Ava...
Oh, btw... I attracted to the young women too so I don't need help with that, but tell me what to do to unleash the beast inside of me to make it in business. 




You know Advice Seeker, 

Thanks for asking for advice---and condolences, But I don't really understand what you are asking ....

"Unleash the beast?"

Why would you get a better ring if you are no longer engaged?

Doesn't make a lot of sense. Maybe that's my advice to you, be more coherent, 

thanks.

Truly

Ava K

Getting A Job

Submitted Information:

Man Stage
child

Decide.I want a response from you.
1

Decide.Please make it epic.
1

Name
John Cayne

Email
masteoven @gmail.com

Speak your mind.
Hey Ava, your dancing inspired me. I danced before and haven't danced since, but I feel that the dancing I do in the future will be much more fun.


 Seeing that you have and inspirational newsletter, I figured I'd try. I need inspiration to go job hunting. I've always had a hard time doing so, but had been in school until very recently. I kinda get jittery and afraid that I will be rejected everywhere I go. I really need to get a job soon to support myself, but my fear still gets the best of me sometimes. All of the time. Just thought maybe you had a tip or two to give. Hope you're well.




Dear John Cayne,


Thanks for letting me know my dancing inspired you. I hope that you are dancing in the Future as your intentions stated. Could turn into a career.


Now to the WISDOM.


Congratulations, first off, for being out of school. You left out some information. Is your trade employable? Is there some special career you are after?


As everyone knows, getting a job is particularly challenging "these days" due to something you may have learned about in school, The Economy.  Yes, I didn't learn about that in school either. I went to art school. Are you an Economist?


Anyway, why beat around the bush? I am terrible at getting jobs. I have gotten so few jobs that I tried to get, and some of them horrendously underpaid jobs I didn't want.


Here are my tips to getting a job.


1. Have a job already. People like to hire people who are already employed. It's sexier. If you are currently looking for a good job I suggest you start with a worse job than the one you want just to play hard to get. Never be embarrassed of the Teaser Decoy Job, always act Proud.


2. Be related to the person you are trying to get a job from.


3. Lie. Yeah, I know all about all of that you are talking about. (This of course could end up making you look bad but sometimes it works out if you're a fast learner and good looking. That take me to 4


4. Be good looking but not so good looking that you makes people think about anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. It may be better to be well dressed than good looking.


5. Dress well. 


6. Hope whoever interviews you likes you. Try not to bore them but don't be exciting. Don't be creative or interesting, they may instantly find you threatening Especially if you are in a creative field.




Also, rest assured---most people who have asked me job advice have ended up being much more successful at careers and obtaining jobs than I have (thus far)...so in a way my advice is a merit-less rabbit foot--that works.


Not everything about inspiration is inspiring. You gotta get knocked down before you get up, Inspiration is wasted on the ecstatic.




Uggg, 


Getting a job is horrible.


Prepare you references to back up your lies.


I wish you great fortune on your enterprises.


Truly 


Ava K Lamb

FLUSHED WITH EMBARRASSMENT

Dear Ava K Lamb,

At the country club where I work, the toilets are not in stalls, they are in completely enclosed closets.  As a result, the autoflush toilet sensors, which ostensibly are light activated, do not go off until one opens the toiletcloset door completely.  Sometimes someone tries to go past me as soon as I open the door, and walk into the toiletcloset before the toilet has flushed, meaning my shit/blood/tampon is still sitting there.  I have learned to keep blocking the doorway till it flushes...but what can I say to the person who's trying to go in that would make things less awkward?

 signed FLUSHED WITH EMBARASSMENT

Quick answer...
Don't sensor toilets have a button on them (near the scensor)
So that you can manually flush before the light?
I tend to go that route.
Otherwise...I like the block the door plan. Maybe you could strike a pose...or make a business card to hand out that explains why you blocked the door. (dear madame, in your haste you have forgot to wait for my feces to flush, you should step back unless you would rather stand here and count to three) 

Or tell them ---"don't nudge past me please, I have poop on my hands"

Or leave something in the stall that you "remember" as you exit STALLING the stall transaction! (ohh i seem to have left my tunic on the TP dispenser)

Or bring construction flood lights or a flashlight in the bathroom with you to shine on the censor (whichever works) before you exit!

I like your question.
Ha, you could put of "police line do not cross" tape up ---and exclaim "if pooping is a crime, I'm guilty"...


Thanks for the great question, many people , million, are probably suffering in silence


I wonder how far you are willing to go to solve this ! 
Hope your having fun and your bowels are smooth
Xox

YEAH I fixed you

Submitted Information:

Man Stage
haploid cell

Decide.I want a response from you.
1

Name
 LOOSE BRAINS

Email


Speak your mind.
GOOD Morrow AVA

will humans eventually turn into pixels?
has that happened already?
I figure peoples all around tiny and massive
believe in withering and there are some grasping explosive futures... tar for imaginations is a cramped dick weed in the chronicle of time.
in utter seriousness (all of it) can the creative little fucker in ones brain live eternal?
WHY HAVE I STOPPED DRAWING???

Sorry that's what I meant to ask in the first place - What do you do about re-figuring expression via art - ya know like I mean
jumping out of the time hole where all your creative juices sit all stagnant and what not... like all boring as fuck???
I think what i meant was I mean
im 25 and thats real close to 30
has imagination caught Ill wind?
well I figured maybe in here I answered some particular question I already had...
****I guess what IM REALLY ASKING IS HOW WOULD YOU RECOMMEND "OFFING WRITERS/DRAWER'S BLOCK?"

Ok Ok Ok could you recommend a good read for out of control blow up brains streaming conscious - or can I have a better question for later in regards to time traveling or shape shifting dynamics and general space monkey phenomena, like later... Can we submit drawings?

ありがとうございます。

Submit whatever you like, as long as it is of gentleman like taste. I've had drawings sent to me before.
Judging from your email, you are spending too much time flailing your arms and trying to grow peacock feathers.
I would recommend drawing as the remedy to not drawing. It's almost homeopathy.
I will tell you what I tell many others who insist on mentioning time travel or other such schemes, "I have no time for time machines."

Please enjoy yourself and remember you are only drawing when you are drawing.

If you have no passion for it perhaps you no longer draw and should try something you do do.

Sent from my Wireless Desk of Ava K

Thank You for that there Advice!

	Inbox		X

that advice you gave me was like a large soda pop of weissenhower 

ill post you the drawing  when its finished!

Are you ever needing animation for film?

Thanks

Let's "JUST" be friends.

"Dear AVA K k k boom,

Thanks for the inspiration, really wonderful. 

I would love to get some feedback from you on something that's been nudging on my shoulder. 

Sitch: I used to love a boy. Then we both abandoned each other. He moved back to New York 2 years later. I feel like we both changed but slowly we are becoming familiar friends again. Now I find myself becoming attracted to him romantically again. BUT i know he's not enough for me and I am not enough for him, but I can't help but want to try things out again. AVA K, how do i discipline myself to not double dip. I find that I am weakening to nostalgic notions. Give me some of your perspective! 

PS. Do you believe in Hoodoo?

Best,

BRO's Friend