Ava K Inspires

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Take this with 5 grains of salt.

My new-ish one way track to inspiration heaven now has a to your personal and voyeuristic inspiration needs.

I need YOU to excuse my
creative spelling or punctuation when nessisary. I am here to inspire...not to dwell on my mistakes.

I am so intoxicated by inspiration!!!

Feel free to correct my advice for errors on my behalf in your word processor in your FREE time. This may be an interesting addition to your Portfolio. Time will not be compensated in this life.

Imagine me foaming at the mouth, convulsing, answering your inspiration needs...My control over the keyboard is impaired, yet my super functional.
ALRIGHT, send me your problems.
I LOVE people with problems.
Email me at

Sunday, February 5, 2012

I'm a sabotager sell out wanna be

Submitted Information:

Man Stage

Decide.I want a response from you.


Speak your mind.
Hello Ava, 
I hope all's good in your hood. My name is John. I'm an Australian visual artist, musican, surfer, writer type person. Lately I have been having a problem. My girlfriend recently ran off to London with a stockbroker. Her reasoning was that she wants to have a baby, and that I don't make enough money for her to do that with me. That's not the real problem, though. The real issue is that now, I am really starting to feel the pressure to "sell out". I feel like, if I continue to do what feels right (freestyle creation), I am sabotaging my own life. Any advice you have at all would be greatly appreciated.
Yours sincerely,

I'm sorry about your Predicament. 
MY inspirational advice is that, perhaps, you start using different language to describe your possibilities. 
Instead of saying "I should Sell Out"
Try saying, "I should try getting a job that supports the life I want to have."
That is, of course, if it IS the life you want to have. 
I don't know how old you are, but I have gone through a similar situation and I am in the process of learning a new career (other than art) to pay my bills in the future. The career that I have chosen is a career that will help other people and also pay for my life. There are many creative aspects to it. Because the job is creative and helpful, it could barely be called Selling out. Also, the job can help me form the life that I want, where I can pull my way and have a family in the future. It increases my self esteem. Oh course, this doesn't mean you won't miss aspects of your life now, whatever you do day to day. Your art will always be there. LIfe is an art and you need to adapt.

It's simple, really. If you really think what you are doing right now is "sabotaging" the life you want to have, you definitely should make some changes--and forget about the idea of "selling out". I've thought about selling out a lot, and ---I am not so sure selling out really exists. We all have goals and dreams. People who "sell out" generally were Born sell outs, were headed that way all along, SO--don't worry about that. 
Being afraid to change and be who you want to be is the real selling out, and there is no money involved, as--money is just a symbol 


ava k

Saturday, December 17, 2011


So in August of this year my girl so to be fiancee left me for some dude and then in September my father died suddenly from cancer. Oh, by the way hello Ava. 
Anyways, I got a better ring and started to work on my insurance license cause my father left us with nothing. Took, the good from the bad right?
So my question to you is, should I feel as if I got an ace up my sleeve with a nice ring and broken heart?
Man, all I use to do is dream of being married. Now at age 36, I still look 20 something. I only attract females in their 20s. I just hope I can have a partner in all area of my life. 
So, should I just do it like Nike, cause you only live once? Tell me how I should turn it all the way up? Inspire me Ava...
Oh, btw... I attracted to the young women too so I don't need help with that, but tell me what to do to unleash the beast inside of me to make it in business. 

You know Advice Seeker, 
Thanks for asking for advice---and condolences, But I don't really understand what you are asking ....
"Unleash the beast?"
Why would you get a better ring if you are no longer engaged?
Doesn't make a lot of sense. Maybe that's my advice to you, be more coherent, 
Ava K

Friday, October 14, 2011

Getting A Job

Submitted Information:

Man Stage

Decide.I want a response from you.

Decide.Please make it epic.

John Cayne


Speak your mind.
Hey Ava, your dancing inspired me. I danced before and haven't danced since, but I feel that the dancing I do in the future will be much more fun.

 Seeing that you have and inspirational newsletter, I figured I'd try. I need inspiration to go job hunting. I've always had a hard time doing so, but had been in school until very recently. I kinda get jittery and afraid that I will be rejected everywhere I go. I really need to get a job soon to support myself, but my fear still gets the best of me sometimes. All of the time. Just thought maybe you had a tip or two to give. Hope you're well.

Dear John Cayne,

Thanks for letting me know my dancing inspired you. I hope that you are dancing in the Future as your intentions stated. Could turn into a career.

Now to the WISDOM.

Congratulations, first off, for being out of school. You left out some information. Is your trade employable? Is there some special career you are after?

As everyone knows, getting a job is particularly challenging "these days" due to something you may have learned about in school, The Economy.  Yes, I didn't learn about that in school either. I went to art school. Are you an Economist?

Anyway, why beat around the bush? I am terrible at getting jobs. I have gotten so few jobs that I tried to get, and some of them horrendously underpaid jobs I didn't want.

Here are my tips to getting a job.

1. Have a job already. People like to hire people who are already employed. It's sexier. If you are currently looking for a good job I suggest you start with a worse job than the one you want just to play hard to get. Never be embarrassed of the Teaser Decoy Job, always act Proud.

2. Be related to the person you are trying to get a job from.

3. Lie. Yeah, I know all about all of that you are talking about. (This of course could end up making you look bad but sometimes it works out if you're a fast learner and good looking. That take me to 4

4. Be good looking but not so good looking that you makes people think about anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. It may be better to be well dressed than good looking.

5. Dress well. 

6. Hope whoever interviews you likes you. Try not to bore them but don't be exciting. Don't be creative or interesting, they may instantly find you threatening Especially if you are in a creative field.

Also, rest assured---most people who have asked me job advice have ended up being much more successful at careers and obtaining jobs than I have (thus far) in a way my advice is a merit-less rabbit foot--that works.

Not everything about inspiration is inspiring. You gotta get knocked down before you get up, Inspiration is wasted on the ecstatic.


Getting a job is horrible.

Prepare you references to back up your lies.

I wish you great fortune on your enterprises.


Ava K Lamb

Sunday, September 25, 2011


Dear Ava K Lamb,
At the country club where I work, the toilets are not in stalls, they are in completely enclosed closets.  As a result, the autoflush toilet sensors, which ostensibly are light activated, do not go off until one opens the toiletcloset door completely.  Sometimes someone tries to go past me as soon as I open the door, and walk into the toiletcloset before the toilet has flushed, meaning my shit/blood/tampon is still sitting there.  I have learned to keep blocking the doorway till it flushes...but what can I say to the person who's trying to go in that would make things less awkward?

Quick answer...
Don't sensor toilets have a button on them (near the scensor)
So that you can manually flush before the light?
I tend to go that route.
Otherwise...I like the block the door plan. Maybe you could strike a pose...or make a business card to hand out that explains why you blocked the door. (dear madame, in your haste you have forgot to wait for my feces to flush, you should step back unless you would rather stand here and count to three

Or tell them ---"don't nudge past me please, I have poop on my hands"

Or leave something in the stall that you "remember" as you exit STALLING the stall transaction! (ohh i seem to have left my tunic on the TP dispenser)

Or bring construction flood lights or a flashlight in the bathroom with you to shine on the censor (whichever works) before you exit!

I like your question.
Ha, you could put of "police line do not cross" tape up ---and exclaim "if pooping is a crime, I'm guilty"...

Thanks for the great question, many people , million, are probably suffering in silence

I wonder how far you are willing to go to solve this ! 
Hope your having fun and your bowels are smooth

Friday, September 23, 2011

YEAH I fixed you

Submitted Information:

Man Stage
haploid cell

Decide.I want a response from you.



Speak your mind.

will humans eventually turn into pixels?
has that happened already?
I figure peoples all around tiny and massive
believe in withering and there are some grasping explosive futures... tar for imaginations is a cramped dick weed in the chronicle of time.
in utter seriousness (all of it) can the creative little fucker in ones brain live eternal?

Sorry that's what I meant to ask in the first place - What do you do about re-figuring expression via art - ya know like I mean
jumping out of the time hole where all your creative juices sit all stagnant and what not... like all boring as fuck???
I think what i meant was I mean
im 25 and thats real close to 30
has imagination caught Ill wind?
well I figured maybe in here I answered some particular question I already had...

Ok Ok Ok could you recommend a good read for out of control blow up brains streaming conscious - or can I have a better question for later in regards to time traveling or shape shifting dynamics and general space monkey phenomena, like later... Can we submit drawings?


Submit whatever you like, as long as it is of gentleman like taste. I've had drawings sent to me before.
Judging from your email, you are spending too much time flailing your arms and trying to grow peacock feathers.
I would recommend drawing as the remedy to not drawing. It's almost homeopathy.
I will tell you what I tell many others who insist on mentioning time travel or other such schemes, "I have no time for time machines."

Please enjoy yourself and remember you are only drawing when you are drawing.

If you have no passion for it perhaps you no longer draw and should try something you do do.

Sent from my Wireless Desk of Ava K

Thank You for that there Advice!

that advice you gave me was like a large soda pop of weissenhower 
ill post you the drawing  when its finished!
Are you ever needing animation for film?


Saturday, February 26, 2011

Let's "JUST" be friends.

"Dear AVA K k k boom,

Thanks for the inspiration, really wonderful. 

I would love to get some feedback from you on something that's been nudging on my shoulder. 

Sitch: I used to love a boy. Then we both abandoned each other. He moved back to New York 2 years later. I feel like we both changed but slowly we are becoming familiar friends again. Now I find myself becoming attracted to him romantically again. BUT i know he's not enough for me and I am not enough for him, but I can't help but want to try things out again. AVA K, how do i discipline myself to not double dip. I find that I am weakening to nostalgic notions. Give me some of your perspective! 

PS. Do you believe in Hoodoo?

BRO's Friend

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Hair Attention Makes Me Sad.

Dear Ava K, 

I started a new job 3 weeks ago, teaching private preschool at a country club. My immediate supervisor is a personal trainer in the fitness department.

I have cool hair and I wear it many different ways. This is partially because I have a long commute and no time to blow-dry every day. Anyway, Feri, my supervisor, has a need to comment on my hairstyle almost every day. It is always a compliment: 

"I like your two buns!" 

 "I like your little piggies!"

I know her motive is to say something nice. But her constant assessments make me feel conspicuous, self-conscious, and judged. When I do my hair in the morning I think about what she will say! I kind of dread seeing her, and I'm afraid I'll get overannoyed and pop off with some flip remark that will sound snarky.

Whether the solution is finding the right thing to say to her, or finding the right way to think about her comments, I am on board! You are great at advice! Tell me what you think please!

Dear Inspiration Victim, 

My first reaction was to think...
"Well, you should just ignore her."

Then I thought, well, your problem is that you can't ignore her. She is bothering you and, in her own way, she is insulting you. No matter what you do, she is noting it, and there is something invasive about that. Maybe you are just feeling self conscious, either way, you can get her to mind her own hair. Its hair-do able.

I commend you for being patient while you find out some way to deal with this rather than snarkiness, although, every now and then, who can help but be snippy. If this bit of advice I give you doesn't work...maybe you should just be a little bitchy and let her know what's up. Its not that big of a deal.

I can relate to your problem in my own way. I once had a job that was very image conscious and sometimes my manager would send me to the bathroom to change my outfit, fix my flyways, or put on different shoes. I felt like a human extension of her own OCD. It made me feel inhuman. I feel like you are feeling similar; like her compliments aren't complements but knee jerk reactions that are jerking you the wrong way.

I have thought of this strategy for you to use, and even if it doesn't "work",  I think that it will empower you.

Next time she comments on your hair, which will probably be the next time you see her (based on what you told me she doesn't miss a style) be her mirror. Every time she compliments you, compliment her right back on something really specific--something that catches her off guard. Don't just tell her you like the color of her shirt, tell her her earlobes are a pleasing shape. 

"I'm glad you like my pigtails. I have to tell you, your earlobes are a really pleasing shape."

The next day she compliments you, pick another awkward compliment, and deliver it as sincerely as possible.

"Yes, thank you for noticing my bun. I am noticing that the size of your necklace really makes your eyes look big."

Keep this up. Soon she will realize every time she fires you a compliment, the lens is going to be pointed right back at her. Now remember, make the compliments you give her really specific. Make her feel really looked at.

I think that after a few run ins, that strategy will work. If that doesn't work, you can also try to combat her compliments by putting her to the challenge. 

"I noticed you like my hair almost every day. How about after school I teach you how I do my hair styles. Maybe you want to try them out one day. Here, take my phone number. Let's do a hair workshop."

If her hair isn't long enough to style tell her you will teach her how and she can do it on her nieces. Something silly like that. The idea is to make her think that if she obsesses over your hair, you are going to make her accountable for loving it.  If she loves your hair that much, let her prove it. Chances are she will shy away from the topic in the future to avoid going to your hair academy.

Last ditch effort...after you try all the other options, tell her you actually have hair plugs. Tell her you have female pattern baldness and that these are the styles where it shows the least. You wish that you could wear your hair down but you are too worried the baldness may show. Ask her if she has noticed her bald spots. Chances are she will shy away from your hair in the future.

If none of that works--just tell her you appreciate her compliments but compliments make you feel uncomfortable and it would be better for you if she didn't comment. She will probably feel awkward to be called out but, she will get over it quick. You can say it in a nice way. 

That's it. 
I totally solved your problem. 

I can be sure, one or all of these methods will work. 

Now go forth inspired.

Ava K Lovemaker

Keep Rocking that Hair on the DL