BOYFRIEND CHEATING ON YOU WITH HIS DAD??

My boyfriend and I had a tumultuous long-distance relationship for about three years.  He often did not tell the truth about his interactions with other girls, so one day I broke it off.

We were apart for a year, and I was miserable every second.  Meanwhile, he incurred some really bad debts with Unemployment Compensation and with a number of check cashing places.  We got back together, and a short time later, my boyfriend moved into an apartment with his Dad, ostensibly because Dad needed a roommate for financial reasons.

The four months since then were fine, but then about a week ago my boyfriend started acting weird.  We aren't talking on the phone except for a 2-minute check-in here and there.  While IMing, my bf told me his dad had started giving him a lot of flak about money, the choices my bf makes, and how bf spends his time.  He also said work is super busy now and he's feeling really harried.  Then he said, "I don't know if I have the energy for a relationship right now."  We have not officially broken up, but I was definitely unhappy to hear this.

What do guys mean when they say something like that, in your opinion?  Obviously I suspect my bf's Dad may have moved him in with the ulterior motive of supervising him more, which blows, as bf is 30 years old.  Should I try to talk to my bf, or just wait till the wind changes?  And how does one assert herself in the right way, when the challenge to the relationship is bf's Dad, who is his favorite family member?  That is three

?uestions, so I hope you will address them all like they used to tell us to do in college essay days.
---------------------------------

Certainly. I will indeed answer this thoughtfully and completely.
I really don't think I will be telling you much that you want to hear. I get it sister. You got used to this Boyfriend of yours, and you like him. Well, time to hear MY OPINION of him. hehe.

First off. Do you realize how many times this Boy Friends Dad topic comes up? This is not normal. Your boyfriend's dad may as well be the other woman. 

So remember back when you guys were long distance and he was cheating on you? He still is. With his dad. At the very least. He's not cheating on you Sexually with his dad, but he is mentally by having his partnership and loyalties lie more heavily with his dad than with you. It's not right.

Your boyfriend sure has an excuse for everything. And he seems to be thinking of himself a lot. Unless he is think about his dad. This isn't normal, not even if he were fifteen would it be normal. But he is twice that, he is 30. Why doesn't any of his excuses have anything to do with you? What do you get??

You need to watch this. 

I don't get it. How is it he can do less than nothing, and he still gets your dedication.

You really deserve a better return on investment.

Let's talk about him some more.

You know how he is in trouble for stealing unemployment or whatever he did. That's not cool. Its not so bad that he is stealing from the government, the problem is that he thought that he wouldn't get caught.  He shows some really obvious signs of being an all around dishonest person. I hate to tell you this, but it is a serious possibility he is still cheating on you. All his disinterest...
Check cashing places. I hate to be the first person to tell you this, and I don't mean it to put anyone down...But I just want you to know. From an outside perspective, No sane person would want to grab your boyfriend with a ten foot pole.


I'm sorry.

You Caught a dud.

He can't be this much of a fuck up and still treat you like shit. He hasn't earned that right. No wonder he treats you so bad. He has no idea how luck he is to have you. He is drowning in his own world of darkness...self pity...Stealing.
And of course let's add his undying love for his father into the mix.
NOT A PRETTY PICTURE

Did you consider that maybe Your boyfriend wanted to move in with his dad? Not even that his Dad wanted him to move in with him?
Yeah.

Maybe he moved in with his dad so he can steal and cheat more.

I wouldn't be surprise.

LISTEN

I believe in second chances. I really do. But I think that people who fuck up should be bold and rightous when correcting their mistakes. Not whiney with lots of EXCUSES about his dad.

Let his Dad fix his problems then. He doesn't have the right to complain to  you.

I officially REVOKE his right to complain to you. He sucks. I also want him to return all his Christmans presents he got as a child. He obviously was on the bad list the last couple years.

Then he said, "I don't know if I have the energy for a relationship right now."  We have not officially broken up, but I was definitely unhappy to hear this.

What does he mean by this???

 He means Exactly what he said.
I'm sorry. He means what he said. There is no room for interpretation...
I totally understand why you don't want to hear that. Why you want to interpret it as something else...

He just happens to be a Pussy. 
Instead of saying "I don't have energy for a relationship right now"
he is using Puss Face talk by saying "i don't know"


What does he know then??? What does he know? Does he know that you desserve better? Because I know that you do. 
You're a person, not an optional side of fries. You have given him so much time and understanding of all his flaws fuckups and incest...
And he gives you I don't know?
Fuck him. 
Really. 


I know its a lot easier for me to tell you he is Done than it is for you to understand it. You put a lot into him that you don't want to give up...but what has he done with the love you give him?


It appears to me he takes it, and he gives it to his dad.
Its lame.


If he were in a sitcom his character would be a loser.


YOu can't debate that...That is a fact.

And how does one assert herself in the right way, when the challenge to the relationship is bf's Dad, who is his favorite family member? 


Listen. If you have to compete with his dad, game is over. You and his dad should not be in the same catagory.

I am sorry, I know it's not gonna be easy. You need to walk away. And I hope he doesn't chase after you. Which he probably eventually will....for the same reason he doesn't want to outright dump you....you are too nice to have around. You do anything for him. Why would he dump you. You're like a free cow with tons of milk. You even feed yourself.

I would never do what he has done. It is UTTER(cow)ly ridiculous.   If my parents ever tried to make me ruin my relationship and life by telling me where to live and what to do....I would think they went insane!!!
And I would say No way Hose!
You need to start shifting your priorities Sista.
If he were the guy for you he would realize that you are probably the only good thing about his life, and he would thank the Lord you were there for him when he got home from his shitty job...
But he's giving all his love to his father.

Its Over.

Ps>>>

Let me beat you to the punch.  

If you are thinking Ava, dear ava. You misunderstood. Don't you realize how much we love eachother? I forgot to tell you about the time he said I was pretty. OR"its more complicated than that ava...."

Well let me tell you. 

Nothing you could tell me that you add to this picture could make him good enough for you. 

I don't care if he is your soul mate or he is the sexiest ride in town.

Nothing. If it's more complicated, its too complicated, and It is OVER.

Whether or not you will take my advice is all you need to figure out.